Spider-Man VS Mikasa



Spider-Man VS Mikasa is the 17th episode of DEATH BATTLE! But it's DBX, featuring Spider-Man from Marvel Comics and Mikasa Ackerman from Attack on Titan series in a battle between webs and blades.

Description
When the Titans aren't attacking, Mikasa still defends Trost from anything and anyone... even the superhero web crawler!

Interlude
(*Cues: Wiz and Boomstick - Brandon Yates*)

Wiz: Peter Parker, the Spider-Man.

Boomstick: And Mikasa Ackerman, the giant-killing scout from Attack on Titan.

Wiz: These two reluctant heroes are fighting for a better world.

'''Boomstick: What'll happen when they go toe to toe to see who's the swingiest and the cuttiest? He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.'''

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Spider-Man
(*Cues: Spider-Man (2002) - Main Theme*)

Wiz: The friendly neighborhood Spider-Man protects the streets of New York City.

'''Boomstick: Once, Peter Parker was a wimpy nerd with no friends. Then he got bit by a radioactive spider that gave him weird bug powers, and now he's a radioactive superhero with no friends. But after some practice and superheroing, he finally got himself laid. A lot, actually.'''

(*Cues: The Amazing Spider-Man Game - Main Theme*)

Wiz: A clever photographer and science major, Spider-Man is not only incredibly powerful, but also a genius in strategy and science. Using these skills, he created two wrist mounted webshooters which let him swing around the city.

Boomstick: You know, if he was SO smart, wouldn't he make the webs shoot out of his butt like a real spider?

Wiz: No, no, First, it doesn't come out of their butt, it comes out of their-

'''Boomstick: (to the tune of the Spiderman song)  ♪ Spider-Man! Spider-Man! Craps some webs like a spider can! ♪'''

(*Cues: Marvel vs. Capcom 3 - Spider-Man Theme*)

Wiz: (rough) Each web shooter cartridge can hold a large amount of pressurized web fluid-

'''Boomstick: AND SO CAN HIS GIRLFRIENDS! Haha, I'll be here all week.'''

Wiz: (annoyed) ....and features a rotating carousel to replace the empty ones.

'''Boomstick: His spider powers give him superhuman strength, speed, agility and durability. He can run up to 200 MPH, lift over 10 tons, and take a freaking grenade to the FACE!'''

Wiz: He can also knock out a dinosaur out cold with a single punch.

Boomstick: Haha, suck it, Denver!

Wiz: Also, by altering his body's electron attractions, Spider-Man can crawl along any surface. But his most advantageous power is the Spider-Sense.

Boomstick: It acts kinda like a warning signal, like caller ID when your ex-wife's calling for alimony.

Wiz: Actually, the Spider-Sense is much more than a simple alarm. It gives Peter omnipresent detection to his surroundings. This is how he swings around New York without looking where he shoots his webs. And unlike his human senses, it is not affected by gases or toxins unless specifically tailored to the Spider-Sense itself. However, it's up to Spider-Man to recognize and react to his warning, so it can be tricked if he doesn't think he's in danger.

(*Cues: The Amazing Spider-Man - Saving New York*)

'''Boomstick: Still, combined with his speed, Spider-Man is almost untouchable. He can even dodge automatic fire!'''

Wiz: His unique martial art, The Way of the Spider, utilizes the Spider-Sense to its fullest. Spider-Man can go toe-to-toe with the most advanced masters of combat, even while blindfolded.

'''Boomstick: No wonder other superheroes don't like this guy. I mean, the freaking Spider-Sense does everything for him!'''

Wiz: Speaking of which, somehow, Spider-Man once tried to join the Justice League, but was rejected by Batman.

'''Boomstick: Ouch. I bet he wishes he can fight old Bats in a battle to the death - OH-HO, WAIT!'''

Wiz: For all of his amazing powers, Spider-Man is not invincible. His bright and colorful costume makes stealth difficult, his durability has limits, and the oddly specific ethyl chloride pesticide is his Kryptonite. Also, any enemy with his speed comparable to his can outmatch his Spider-Sense.

Boomstick: Still, if those are only his limitations, how come he sometimes gets shot by a stray bullet?

Wiz: Lazy, lazy writing.

''Mary Jane: Wait! Who are you?''

Spider-Man: You know who I am.

Mary Jane: I do?

Spider-Man: Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Mikasa Ackerman
Popup: This rundown might contain major spoilers for parts of the anime that haven't been adapted from the manga yet.

Boomstick: Welcome to scenic Shiganshina, enjoy the rustic medieval architecture, hearty populace, and...

(We see the Colossal Titan at Shiganshina's wall)

'''Boomstick: Oho! Oh yeah, ooh, yup, that can't be good.'''

Wiz: Cowering behind enormous walls, the last remnants of humanity were driven to near extinction by the arrival of the monstrous Titans.

Boomstick: Despite that, little Mikasa Ackerman lived a happy, normal life, until her parents were brutally murdered in front of her, but never fear, she Uno reversed the shit out of those assholes with the help of Eren Yaeger, another pint-sized psychopath in training.

Wiz: Adopted by Eren's parents, Mikasa and Eren somehow lived a happy, normal life...

(We see the Colossal Titan breaking the wall)

Wiz: ... Until all their friends and family were brutally murdered by Titans. I'm sensing a pattern here.

Boomstick: With barely anyone in her life lasting longer than a twenty-five minute episode, Mikasa became Eren's guardian angel.

Wiz: Certainly a valuable asset to Eren, who devoted his life to exterminating the Titan threat.

Boomstick: Together, they joined the military and got their hands on some sweet Titan-slaying gear: the Vertical Maneuvering Equipment, or “VVVMMMEEE”.

Wiz: Also known as Omni-directional Movement, or ODM Gear in the anime, it allows Mikasa to fight the towering Titans at their own level.

'''Boomstick: ODM gear comes with two twenty to thirty-foot long iron wire spears she can separately aim and shoot, that'll hook into any surface. They'll allow her to swing around like a steampunk Spider-Man.'''

Wiz: She can zoom through the air and change directions on a dime with a special fan on her back that fires pressurized gas.

'''Boomstick: Farting. That's called farting, Wiz.'''

(Cut to Wiz and Boomstick, as Boomstick makes fart sounds, his face turning purple as he struggles to keep it up. Wiz noticeably is affected as he looks disoriented while blood pours out his ears before collapsing. DUMMI floats in and extends a robot arm, grabbing the dead Wiz and dragging him off)

DUMMI: I'll get another clone.

Wiz: Mikasa's ODM gear can propel her at speeds up to 366 kilometers per hour, that's almost a third the speed of sound.

'''Boomstick: Assuming she can reach top speeds in a second, that's over ten g's of force! Ten times Earth's gravity.'''

Wiz: For reference, astronauts withstand about three g's of force during liftoff, and fighter pilots can withstand up to nine g's for a second or two during aerial combat. Even just six g's for a sustained period of time can be fatal for a human being, but Mikasa can survive almost twice that much and fight giant monsters at the same time.

Boomstick: That insane speed makes her especially deadly when she whips out her special Titan slashing swords made of ultra hard steel, and that's exactly the term I'd use to describe myself after watching what they can do to a Titan.

Wiz: Despite their name, they're rather fragile, at least relative to the super tough Titan skin they have to repeatedly cut, so Mikasa carries a set of twelve that she can easily dispose of and replace mid combat.

'''Boomstick: Yeah, that kinda became a problem when some super intelligent Titans started sporting crazy tough armor. That's when Mikasa breaks out the big guns, the Thunder Spears!'''

Wiz: Essentially proto-bazookas, the Thunder Spears are thrown like javelins. They're sharp enough to pierce even the Armored Titan's impenetrable hide, and once their fuse is severed, they'll explode, devastating anything within range.

Boomstick: Shattering the Armored Titan's armor is no joke, it was tough enough to tank punching a hole through Wall Maria.

Wiz: By measuring the size of the gate in comparison to, uh, let's go with this guy, we can tell the Armored Titan violently fragmented over a thousand cubic meters of rock.

Popup: On top of destroying the gate, the Armored Titan's armored hide has withstood numerous explosions, and even survived getting crushed by the Colossal Titan.

'''Boomstick: That'd take over eighteen tons of TNT, enough to level a city block, and the Thunder Spears shraped it! No surprises here, if you're too close to one of it's blasts, it's game over.'''

Wiz: Despite the awesome power at her fingertips, Mikasa only really joined the military to watch over and protect Eren.

'''Boomstick: Like a loving mother hen...of death! And that became way harder once Eren learned he could also turn into one of those super intelligent Titans!'''

Wiz: Now humanity's greatest weapon against the Titan menace, Eren was at the center of all major anti-Titan operations, which meant Mikasa was there too, ruthlessly dispatching anyone that might harm him.

'''Boomstick: Get over yourself, Eren, so what if your childhood home was destroyed by a Titan? You're living rent free in this girl's head, and it could be worse, you could be Armin. Man, it's like she's programmed to protect him.'''

Wiz: You're not off base, Mikasa's last name isn't inconsequential, years ago, the Ackerman's were bio-engineered to be subservient, super soldier royal guards to the mighty Eldian emperor.

'''Boomstick: Well, wherever all that shit came from, Mikasa's got the Ackerman blood coursing through her veins, the same blood that gives her a fraction of a Titan's power without transforming. Holy crap!'''

Popup: Although the Ackerman Clan's strength is obviously greater than average, Eren's statement that they have the power of the Titans was likely an exaggeration to shock Mikasa.

Wiz: It's that power that allowed Captain Levi, another Ackerman, to dodge point blank bullets, that's over Mach 2, and Mikasa can easily keep up with him.

Boomstick: It also lets her subconsciously tap into the combined experience and battle instincts of Ackerman's past, she's like the Avatar of Titan murder!

Wiz: Unfortunately, this blood bond with Eren means that even when he goes too far, she's obligated to protect him, kinda like a robot.

'''Boomstick: I don't buy it, Wiz, she doesn't love him because of her DNA, she loves him because he's the only one who stood up for her when she couldn't stand up for herself! When she looks at him and the rest of her friends, she sees a hope for a brighter tomorrow!'''

Wiz: Wow, Boomstick, that was...that was touching.

Boomstick: And she has fart powers!

Wiz: Well, it was nice while it lasted.

''Mikasa: I'm not listening to another word of this! No point.''

Death Battle
(*Cues: DEATH BATTLE! But It's DBX: Spiders on Titans)

KO!

Results
'''Boomstick: Damn, that was brutal! Show it again!'''

Wiz: Despite Mikasa possessing more skill and knowledge, Spider-Man's abilities ultimately overpowered his arsenal.

Boomstick: To be fair, Titans might have been able to deal with Spidey's strength and speed, but that damn Spider-Sense changes everything!

Wiz: Right, the Spider-Sense counters surprise and stealth, Mikasa's most valuable weapons.

Boomstick: But how could Mikasa won to a wimpy Spider-Nerd, when he defeated the entire Ackerman Clan on his own?

Wiz: Many of Mikasa's greatest achievements have required weeks or months of preparation and planning, which can hardly be compared to the one-on-one confrontation of a Death Battle. Keep in mind, if we have given Batman prep time, the same would be done for Spider-Man.

Boomstick: And all of Mikasa's money, and the Commissioner's men, couldn't put Spider-Man together again.

Wiz: The winner is-

Boomstick: Mikasa Ackerman.

Video
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qFpCHWkxo9dsIo6COplzMEN31QhiNLj_/view